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Ted Cruz performs a fake filibuster and defiles a classic piece of children’s literature in the process. What if Ted were the protagonist in a similar story…

“That President, that President, I do not like that President.”

“Do you like Obamacare?”

“I do not like Obamacare.”

“Would you like it for the poor?”

“I would not like it for the poor.”

“Would you repeal it on the Senate floor?”

“I would repeal it on the Senate floor.”

“Would you replace it with something good?”

“ I would. I would. For sure, I would. Something good like vouchers or pools. We must privatize health care and schools!”

“And leave the poor to do what then?”

“They aren’t poor no more with vouchers, friend.”

“But costs keep rising, will vouchers keep pace?”

“That is a discussion for another time, another place.”

“And these pools, you say, what is their price?”

“Less than Obamacare. Isn’t that nice?”

“I suppose it is if they cover the same, but your pools cover few, which the sick will find lame.The ACA seems like the way, to cover all and save the day. Try it, try it, and you may find, it heals all folks, leaves none behind.”

“I will not, will not fight for all. My dreams are big, poor people are small. I must show my party that I am a star. The election in three years isn’t too far. So on with my mission of making a stand, against something I think gives me upper-hand—over the weaklings my people despise: the ones inclined to compromise.”