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Despite U.S. envoy Dennis Rodman’s best attempts to convince the world that his BFF, Kim Jong-Un, is a “great guy,” the UN has decided to move ahead with increased sanctions on North Korea. The latest sanctions will attempt to significantly reduce Jong-Un’s dictator flair by restricting other countries from exporting luxury cars, yachts, and jewelry to a country that invests billions of dollars in its military and nuclear weapons program but at the same time can’t afford to keep millions of its own citizens from dying of starvation.

Like a scolded teenager who has just lost driving and Xbox privileges until “we say so,” Jong-Un has predictably lashed out at his authority figures. His ire is currently directed at America, who Jong-Un must believe is planning to follow through on an unspoken threat to “take him out of this world.” Through his totalitarian version of social media (the government-run KCNA news agency) Jong-Un updated his status yesterday to the following:

“Since the United States is about to ignite a nuclear war, we will be exercising our right to preemptive nuclear attack against the headquarters of the aggressor in order to protect our supreme interest.”

Side note: This is a much more serious tone than his previous status: “Me and #WORMinNorthKorea just did a Harlem shake video. Kind of lame with just two people tho.”

Now, I don’t know exactly what the North Korean Bill of Rights looks like (no one does), but the “right” to preemptive nuclear attack does seem like it would be a natural fit. What I cannot understand is why Jong-Un thinks that he has a right to destroy people preemptively, before they even begin to carry out the actual act that he fears?

Surely, no righteous nation would ever do a thing like that. Oh, wait…

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